Speechless beauty.

Today is Saturday.
So far, I feel really good. I went to bed last night at, what, 10:30? 11:00? and woke up to a phone call at 10:30 this morning. I do not remember waking up once throughout the course of the night. Wonderful.

Yesterday, I was exhausted all day. I had only gotten about 3.5 or 4 hours of sleep the night before, and I wanted to be up and awake for breakfast before our quiz in Survey of Music Literature. I was asked to speak at chapel on Thursday night unexpectedly, and my creative juices just kept flowing into the night and early morning. I was nervous about saying the right things and making laughable jokes. They asked me to talk on the topic of how we can incorporate faith in our everyday lives during this summer, while we are all away from Goshen, friends, and the memories we made. I was supposed to talk about my year as a whole and my summer plans. Like everything I write, it hard to begin writing and get a general plan for what I wanted to say, but once I got going, it wasn't a problem. In fact, I had to cut a lot of stuff that I originally wrote just to fit the time limit.

I only had enough time to dry my hair and get part of my makeup on before I got pancakes and went to class. I got out early, changed my clothes, and went to chapel. Nikita led worship and I was first to speak. I shook the entire time. My knees were NOT happy in my heels. But, good news. People laughed at my jokes and gave me good feedback about my message. I'm really happy about how it turned out, actually. After lunch, I tried to take a nap, but it really wasn't meant to be. I got 5 phone calls in 45 minutes. I played some volleyball outside and went to pick up Chance in Aaron's car in Van Wert, about 2 hours away. I...got lost. And...I had a GPS system. But I eventually got there, picked up Bradley and Chance, and headed back to Goshen.

On the way home, I was very humbled by the sunset we were driving towards. Chance said it was God painting because I said it literally looked like somebody dipped a brush into pink and purple and red paint and just swiped it across the skyline. I've seen the most beautiful sunsets of my life in the mid-west, but none quite like last night's. There were empty fields and no mountains and you could see forever. I was reminded of the scripture I talked about in my message in chapel, 1 Thessalonians 5:18: "Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

Leaving Goshen is becoming more of a reality everyday for me. Knowing that I'm 19, now almost a sophomore in college, living out my own dreams and aspirations, I'm wondering where all that time went. More doors are being opened to me that I was once certain were locked shut forever; second chances that I didn't see coming.
There is finally logic in my life of chaos and confusion.
I am at peace.
My heart no longer yearns for something greater than what is in front of me.
Although I have experienced heartbreak, defeat, anger, and disappointment this year, the beauty of everything else has humbled me to call Goshen my new home. And although packing all of my belongings into storage boxes will be daunting and odd, it will give me motivation to revisit with them in the fall, when everybody is reunited and the sun is still shining down it's hot and refreshing light.

Because of Goshen and God's plan for me, I am stronger.
Healthier.
Happier.
Smarter.
Blessed.